Choices

So, really, who thought it would be a good idea, an acceptable idea, even, to fly a Boeing low on the skyline in NYC for an Air Force One photo-op?

Because every single person who agreed and who could've stopped it should have to wear sign on his or her head that reads, "STUPID," for the rest of the year.

-b

Delivery

Brian Copeland told me the other night that I could have his convertible Smart Car. I can't help noticing that it STILL hasn't been delivered.

Just saying...

-b

What's Left

I am pretty sure that I don't actually have a blade of grass in my front yard. It's all dandelions, crab grass and other unidentifiable weedage. And, now that I've sprayed chemicals on the lawn to get rid of all the weeds, I'm guessing my front yard will now be dirt.

Nice.

strange and unbelievable

The email I received today reads:

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Jurgen Krugger made youa beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100.000.00) to you in theCodicil and last testament to his WILL. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

Someone "wished" me "good."
I'm very, very lucky.

-b

Stinky Tramps

You know what stinks?

It's when you starve yourself for 6 weeks, eat stuff that has no real taste, count every calorie, exercise and, because your metabolism is clearly at a near standstill, you REJOICE with trumpets and the clanging of cymbals when you lose even .2 pounds in a week. "Any progress is progress, " you tell yourself, and you kind of do believe it. And then you eat at Bob Evans with your parents and AFTER the meal you find out that stupid little SALAD clocks in at 1250 calories (more than you're allowed in a day--what was IN that stupid thing? Grilled chicken, lettuce, dried cranberries? LARD?) But, that's okay, you've saved your 'extra calories' for the week and you'll just use them on the stupid salad...instead of the fabulous meal you were planning to use it on...but whatever. And you're losing, but it is slower than a snails pace...but you're losing.

Wait, no, that's not the 'stinks' part.

What stinks is that you're going through all of that and, unbeknownst to you, the woman that you see on a fairly regular basis who probably weighed about 230 in January snuck off without telling and had the belly band surgery, and so in almost the same amount of time that you've manage to drop 8.4 pounds (give or take three weeks) she's dropped "a little over FIFTY!!!" and says she's lost the weight by "just eating less."

She's such a tramp. ;-p

-b

Camping, the Aftermath

A group of us went camping over the weekend. Tent camping, as Jim calls it. We had great weather, a beautiful lake to look at and wonderful food (thank you, Jim.) The dogs had so much fun that they're just starting to wake up, and it's Wednesday.

I have been in a panic trying to get all the ticks off the dogs. I don't want them to get sick. I'm not even going to tell you how many have been removed. Still, the question begs:

HOW do find ticks on pug????? In that stupidly thick hair????

-b

How to Change Your Mind

Sometimes I think I'll get a new house at some point. Then, I look around my little place and think of how nice it is to not have to deal with cleaning a larger space and mowing a larger yard and how I don't sink all my income into a house, and I drop it. That doesn't stop me from looking, though. I've become quite a little snoop with houses for sale, and with some that I'd just like to buy even though they're not for sale.

Yesterday was a snoop day. And I was snooping in on the rich people and their multi-million dollar homes that they no longer want.

That's when I found the house that has the pool I'm going to have when I do move (let me dream, okay?) The pool had the requisite waterfall, of course, the hot tub, the rock wall landscaping with both the deep and shallow ends, and all the privacy of a home sitting on a hill on an exclusive boulevard in Brentwood. I admit that in my heart of hearts and deep within the fibers of my being, I'm so not a Brentwood person. I am, however, a cool pool person. And, this, gang, is the pool.

As I took the virtual tour of this house, I kept wondering what type of person gets to have this house. Who was born into this, or what correct decisions were made to allow for this, or who worked themselves so hard day in and day out so that they could live in this house and raise their family here with this pool?

After a few more clicks, I found that the place was built in 2005. Okay, so there are no fond family memories. A few more clicks, and I was able to see that the place wasn't decorated all that well. It was okay, but clearly the money went into the house itself rather than the decorating. Hmmm…

Finally, my curiosity got the best of me. A few more clicks and a google later, I'd found the name of the person who is selling this place AND his profession. No, he's not a doctor or a lawyer, he's not a finance guy and he's not in the medical field or in insurance (lots of old money in Nashville from insurance.) No, gang, our guy with the $2+ million dollar home on the exclusive boulevard in the haughty neighborhood with the amazing pool gets to have all this because he owns, all across Tennessee, Adult Video Bookstores.

I'm not even kidding.

It's the house that naked built. And now I don't want it. Or its pool…ESPECIALLY its pool, ever.

-b