Kindness

It goes a long, long way.

I'm not a big crier. Or, maybe I'm in an age-defined denial. The older I get, the more I get weepy on someone's behalf. Regardless, my friend T. got me today with this quote: No one has ever said they will handle something FOR me. Can I give you a hug to thank you?

She had big crocodile tears streaming down her face. I had recommended two people to her to help her realize her "one dream." "Call them," I said. "Stop being intimidated by your unknowns."

She is beautiful, and she has been dealt a much more difficult deck of cards than I. And, two of my friends, one old and one new, showed a beautiful kindness today. I called them both to tell them so, and to thank them. "You made a difference in someone's life today," I said to both of them.

Kindness matters.

We should be more conscious of that.

-b

Here's One for the Songwriters

When I'm included on the faculty at songwriting worshops and seminars, the one thing I've noticed over and over that the registrants want is access. They want a few minutes of time from someone is who doing what they want to do. People just want to talk, some people just want you to listen to their songs, some people really want honest feedback, and then some people just want you tell them how great they are (whether they are or not.)

My awesome friend and songwriter J.P. Williams called me several months back and invited me in on a writing session with someone who I think most any writer worth their salt would love to be in the room with. Since then, I've written many times with Rory Bourke. Here's just the first paragraph of his bio:

During a career of more than thirty years, Rory Michael Bourke has had songs recorded by Anne Murray, Elvis Presley, Bonnie Raitt, Cher, Phil Vassar, Dolly Parton, Tom Jones, The Oak Ridge Boys, Ronnie Milsap, Julio Iglesias, Tim McGraw, and many others. He was inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1989 and has been named ASCAP Writer of the Year three times: 1976, 1979, and 1983. He is a four-time Grammy nominee and the recipient of two CMA triple play awards. He served on the Board of Directors of the Nashville Songwriters Foundation for many years.

It's been such a pleasure getting to know Rory and Rita. He's not even billing me for hanging around so much (yet.)

I say all of this to say that if you're interested in writing songs, and truly writing those songs that last a lifetime, Rory is an expert proven time and time again. While I can't offer you access, I can get you the stories. Well, actually, you'll have to get those yourselves, too. Check out Rory's blog:

www.rorybourke.com

Enjoy-
-b

Satisfaction

I've been looking over my tax returns. Fun stuff. I just put down the tax return for 2003, actually. Looking back over the years of self-employment, the up's and the down's, has gotten me to thinking.

Over the past ten years, I've turned down two big-salary job offers outside my creative field, and I've basically done everything I can to keep my time focused on my creative passions. I've passed on the kind of security many people work their whole lives for. I've chosen my dreams over common sense options time and time again.


I'm not saying that my life choices would be for everyone. Certainly not. But, I can say that I'm okay with how I've done what I've done. I may never own my personal island in the tropics, but I've made a good life, with good friends and a good family. I can pay my bills, I have food on my table and I get to travel a little. Most of my dreams have already come true. That's a big thing to be able to say.

So, no, I wouldn't change how I've done things. I definitely would not.
I'm satisfied.

-b

The Winter White Wool Coat

I don't remember how I old I was, but there was one year in high school that I decided I wanted a full length winter white wool coat. Since it was going to cost a little more than our standard issue, Dad had to make the final approval.

I went to Dad and asked, explained the do-or-die necessity of this grand investment, and he finally agreed with the following stipulation: it had to be made in America.

So, off to the Charleston Town Center mall we went. After searching the racks of the various stores, I walked in to the final place and the clear blue sky rolled back giving way to the Heavenly choir's "Hallelujah Chorus," and there hung the perfect--PERFECT--winter white wool coat. It was floor length, lined with silk, pleated in the back from the collar down, with flawless subtle tan buttons. Oh, it was a glorious find, and I was going to look like a million bucks.

I bought it right there and we drove the hour home. As I unwrapped this brilliant piece of fashion iconism and carefully placed it out on my bed, my brother looked over my shoulder and asked, "Is it made in the USA?"

I'm not saying it was right or it was wrong, but sometimes a girl's just got to have her 80's winter white wool coat. When you know it is right, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do and figure the rest out later. I said, "Well, if it's not, then I'll cut the tag out."

I checked tag there was it was: Made in the USA.

Life lesson learned.

-b

p.s. I had never planned to mention the whole thing to Dad until my brother so helpfully retold the story at Christmas. And, the truth is, I had been so overcome with perfection that I'd totally forgotten to look. I'm really not a bad person, Dad.

Convenience

I've had a slight toe in the real estate market this weekend. Let us not get carried away, it was just a toe, and a pinky toe, at that.

Nonetheless, I called and made an appointment to view a home in a "transitional" neighborhood. Because, you know, I'm cool...I'm hip. Er...right. Anyway, I made Jim go, too, mostly because he just loves that kind of stuff...er...right.

Anyway, so we made the left turn onto the street of what could be my brand new home and we both started laughing out loud. Not an "lol," which we all know really means "chuckle out loud," (col), but an actual audible laugh.

Jim looked over and said, "Well, the good thing about this neighborhood is that if it's eleven o'clock at night and you need some crack, all you have to do is go out on the porch and say so. All the dealers will be able to hear you."

...I do like me some convenience...

-b

Thick and Luxurious

I looked in the cabinet where I keep my towels and washcloths a few weeks ago and noted not one, not two, but several towels and washcloths I bought the mid-90's. Yes, there, I said it. The mid-90's. I specifically thought, "Hmmm, these things are losing their steam." Then, I realized that they have been in use for 15 years or so.

FIFTEEN YEARS for a towel and washcloth???? How did this happen? When did I become that person? I guess the flipside is that they have actually survived for fifteen years, but still...that amount of time is equivalent to the amount of time between when I was born until my junior year in high school.

Indeed.

So, I asked for some new towels for Christmas and then I headed to the J.C. Penny white sale today. I don't even know who am I anymore through this fog of glorious grown-up bliss. Did you all know that towels can be thick and luxurious? Did everyone know this but me?



-b

Virtual Friends: What the Internet Can Do

Early last year I sent an email to Ohio-K. I didn't know her, but I felt like I had something snarky to say and that she would appreciate it. After a few exchanges, she introduced me to the email commune. Within the email commune, we then had Ohio-K, New Jersey-P, Nebraska-R, California-P, California-A and Oregon-H. Then we voted in North Carolina-G.

So, now, the commune consists of G, P, K, R, P, A, H and me, B. We've been emailing back and forth for months now. I love these people. We are all so different and so the same that the Commune makes perfect sense. We've been through bankruptcies, religions, buying new homes, trying to find work, angry times, bitter times, family crisis', great celebrations, and pure, unadulterated support of each other. I know things about these guys that I don't even know about my closest in-person friends.

The beauty of the internet is that I'm allowed to have friends that I otherwise wouldn't have had. I call them friends. How can I not? They know too much about me as it is.

I remember when I purchased my first computer. I was a sucker for the "chat room" commercials. I just wanted to be in touch with people from around the world. Well, years later, when the 'being in touch with strangers' thing came to fruition, it was with this particular group of strangers. And, it far surpassed what the commercials promised.

California P is brilliantly clever and talented. He has a way a seeing through the forest straight to the tree. I adore him and his sense of humor.

New Jersey P has a generous spirit. It shows through in so much of her work and her murals. And, though we've never met in person, she sent me an amazing pottery piece for Christmas. Why? Because she has a generous spirit. I'd hire her to do a mural for me in a heartbeat.

California A is a constant surprise. I never know what to expect from her. I do know that regardless of the specifics, she will be clever and passionate, and that is inspiring every single time. And I'm so proud of her for buying a house this past year.

Oregon H is the one who chimes in with what I call the last sentence. She's clearly clever, and a GREAT Scrabble player. She's the one who wraps up all of the nonsense and gives it a little meaning.

Nebraska R is stupid talented, and on the verge of fantastic new things. We all kind of watch to see where he's going next. He's indeed someone we root for. Plus, he draws these awesome cartoons.

Ohio K is an artist. She is savvy enough to work the system without making it look like work and she has more energy than anyone I know. I have so much great respect for her. She is a true artist, and a darn good hang.

And North Carolina G. Ridiculously talented. She is the one who goes beyond the call to make sure everything is okay. Someone I would want to be friends with if I wasn't already. Just a neat person.

Actually, I'd want to be friends with all the members of the virtual commune if I knew them in their daily lives. Which, brings us back to the internet and what it can do for you.

I feel lucky.

These are my virtual people. I've given them parts of me that my real-life people don't have.

And, I don't want to move on without them.

Here's to internet friends. Thank you for enriching my life and for, quite simply, making me better.

-b