Grace

Zumba: a fitness program inspired by Latin dance. “We utilize the principles of fitness interval training and resistance training to maximize caloric output, fat burning, and total body toning. It’s a way of mixing body sculpting movements with easy-to-follow dance steps,” says creator Beto Perez. “It’s fun and addictive.” <sup>from Wikipedia


"Easy to follow" might be a bit ambitious. "Fun," well, it depends on whether we're at the beginning of the hour or the end. "Addictive," yes. I've been a faithful attender since last summer. Regardless, I've become one of the people that knows the moves, and I'm proud to bring up the rear, thank you very much. My spot is in the back, but when the instructor makes everyone turn around thereby putting me in the front, I can still hang with the group. It's not pretty by any stretch, but at least I'm not falling down or tripping over myself.

Usually.

As I said, I've been going since last summer. Sarah is my favorite instructor so I rarely miss a Tuesday when she's there. She's not too hip-hop and not too aerobic. Excellent. I try to be the model student for her: punctual, on task and under the radar. After all, she's the one who's supposed to be in the spotlight, not me.

You have to take water to Zumba. I always drink at least a liter while class is going. Sarah always says, "Drink water. It will make you feel better." She is smartest person I know during that hour. I would probably follow her off a cliff. Last Tuesday, there was a new person in class and she took my space. It's kind of like church when the visitor takes the place of the regular attender: awkward, but you sit somewhere else so as not to seem like a bad Christian. Hence, I took my place elsewhere, thus, placing my bottle of water right behind me rather than to my left against the wall.

As you full well predicted, a few high kicks into the class and my water bottle went flying. I didn't have the lid on well, so it came off and out poured about 1/2 a liter of water all over the sacred floor. Excellent. There are NO paper towels, of course, so I had to use my jacket to absorb the water. Four, yes, FOUR other women stopped to try to help me clean it up. One woman didn't stop complaining about the "excessively dry floor" for the rest of the class. (She is dead to me now.)

Not to be demoralized into abandoning my one fitness regimine, I returned today, with water bottle in tow and lid completely tightened. Mantra: be punctual, be enthusiastic, be under the radar and DON'T SPILL YOUR WATER.

I was on task, gang. It was going well until the forth song. I had returned to my proper spot, we were working it up, there was no familiar face in class (a pre-requisite, of course) and I was "shoulder-single-single-double-triple-stomping" my rear off when I heard a rumble. Earthquake? I wish.

The Step Aerobics class stacks their steps in the back of the room after their class. I guess our class was jumping around as to disturb the steps just enough. Several well-stomped moves into our Zumba class, the steps toppled over right into the back of my legs. Fifteen of the steps bounded into the backs of my legs and I was down, very unprettily, splayed over the mountain of fallen steps.

God Bless Sarah. She just said into the microphone, "Is everything okay back there?" and had the class do a turn so everyone could see my big fat rear on top of everything.

I just smiled and mouthed, "Yes."

Everything was just exactly as we would expect it should be.

-b</sup>