Freaks and Weirdos Welcome, but Blogged About

I haven't been to a public pool in the summer aside from the ones at the beach hotels in years. I'd guess I was in the 3rd or 4th grade the last time. You can imagine my apprehension over my recent visit. Granted the pool was part of a member's only type place, but still.

As I sat uncomfortably in my white plastic chair peering over the top of my Kindle, I categorized my fellow pool goers as one of four groups.

First, we had the Normals. These are the people who came quietly, snagged a chair, and lost themselves in a great summer read. They may have gotten up and taken a quick dip in the cool water, but they mostly stayed in their chosen seats. These people felt no need to leave a big impression. I guess you could say they were my kind of people.

Next, we had the Paraders. My, my, my. Some of these people should just grab a baton and get on with it. Oh, for just a thimble of the self-confidence Flower-Trunk-Guy possessed. I heard a lady a few chairs down from me heckle to another particularly proud middle-aged man, "We get it already. Now sit down!"

Then you had the Lappers. Why use the mostly vacant indoor pool to swim your laps at 2 o'clock in the afternoon on the weekend when you can go outdoors and make everybody move so you can have one whole length of the pool to yourself? And, then, go ahead and yell at the innocent ladies who dared to float into your path. Because you're every bit the Michael Phelps you think you are, Coach.

The final category, and I suppose my most favorite, was the SCUBA diver. Granted there was only one participant in this group, he made the biggest impression by far. By far. With a heat index of 104 degrees, Dude walked out to the crowded pool with a full wetsuit (long pants and long sleeves), full head cover, goggles, flippers and oxygen tank. Little kids actually ran screaming to their mothers. He walked to the pool steps, lowered himself into the 3 foot water, and disappeared.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

-b